In less than a month I’ll walk down the aisle to a new life. In as much as I would have loved to say I’m racing down that aisle with total abandon and joy, I cannot. In fact, I am anxious and tense.
I did post at some point about my fear of change. It has struck again I guess, only this time it is not about a job but a lifetime commitment and it’s far more serious. Not that I don’t want to be married to my wonderful fiancé. He’s a beautiful man and a wonderful friend, and I am blessed that he is in my life. But the thought of becoming part of a new social dynamic fills me with dread. Every time I try to imagine our future together, I start sweating the small stuff: calling a place I have not chosen or grown up in, my new home; becoming part of a new family; rationing my time with my own family because I now have to factor in the in-laws and visiting them; having children that take on a new family name that is foreign to me; calling a new person on mother’s day; attending a whole host of new family member events and occasions; espousing new social protocols and traditions; even adopting new dishes and cuisines.
I am tempted to run back up the aisle and as far away as I can from the institution of marriage. What keeps me walking? I am not sure. Fear of staying in place, maybe.
5 person(s) discussed this post:
Mabrouk Lujayn, may the walk down the aisle continue as a long, pleasant, peaceful promenade through the many roads you will take together in life.
Sweating the small stuff seems to be inevitable, and probably keeps us from going insane over the bigger questions in life. I'm sure everything will fall into place slowly, as long as you give them, and yourself, the time.
Wishing you much happiness!
Thanks Rime!
I am counting on this being a normal episode of cold (frozen) feet, and that they will eventually thaw out closer to the time. But I am going to start advocating people get married at 18 because otherwise they start getting comfortable in their single existence the longer they are single. And I've been comfortable a long long time! :))
Congratulations Lujayn!
But leave some fear and anxiety to your fiance. I mean, come on, you\'re starting being possessive. It\'s our (men\'s) God Given Right to be nervous and apprehensive of marriage.
Walk down the aisle with peace my friend. It\'s not the end... It\'s just a new beginning.
Abu Fares, I think men being nervous and anxious about getting married is so over-rated! You should see my anxiety! The fiance keeps having to allay my fears :))
Thanks for the wishes, my friend. It is definitely a new beginning and I do see that amid the anxiety.
i always picture getting married like getting chined .. handcuffed ,,
at the same time, it feels more stable n like you know what exactly your life in the future is going to be like ..
congrats in advance .. nice blog :)
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